[Read] Hot Desk Extract: Madelaine Nunn - The Kick

As part of The Wheeler Centre’s Hot Desk Fellowship program, Madelaine developed The Kick, a gritty new Australian play about ambition, motherhood, and one last shot at glory. AFLW superstar Rosie Day has fought her way to the top, smashing records and breaking barriers along the path. Now she wants to lead her team to victory. But time is closing in. With her birthday looming, a persistent injury, and the personal sacrifices that have piled up, Rosie finds herself at life’s goalposts, forced to choose which dream to chase. Featuring six women, this ensemble dramedy explores career, family, aging, and the complex relationship women have with their bodies.

 

^{Image Sweat by Maresa Smith}

Scene 5: Training

The girls are getting ready. Stretching, strapping. That sort of thing.

Bee                  Nothing.

Casey              Seriously!?

Bee                  It’s just a tinted moisturiser.

Casey               Are you kidding?? Your skin’s so clear.

Alex walks over to the conversation.

Bee                  (a little embarrassed from the attention) Thanks.

Alex                 Is it SPF?

Bee                  Is the pope homophobic?

Casey               Trueee.

Casey starts clicking.

Rosie               Apparently, this pope’s not too bad.

Bee                  I’d keep that off the record if I was you.

Rosie               Compared to the others. I mean.

Bee                  (To Casey) You’ve got nice skin.

Casey              You don’t need to lie, dude!

Bee                  From where I’m standing, it looks good.

Casey              It’s all rough and complicated! Doesn’t know what it wants to be. It’s like, are you oily or are you dry?? Make a choice!

Brigid rushes in late.

Brigid               (announcing to the group) It’s not rabies!

Casey              What?

Alex                 Thank God.

Rosie checks her watch. Clocking the time Brigid arrived.

Brigid               It’s fine. She’s fine.

Casey              Who?

Rosie               Marnie.

Bee                  Her daughter.

Casey              Isn’t that a dog disease?

Rosie               Humans can get rabies.

Bea                  What happened?

Brigid               On our visit to the park this morning, she ate possum poo.

Someone does a dry retch sound.

Brigid              You turn away for a second. She’s stuck five knobs of poo in her mouth. She’s literally a baby magician.

Casey              That’s wild.

Brigid               So sorry I’m late.

Rosie               It’s ok. You’re here now.

Casey              How old’s your daughter?

Brigid               18 months.

Casey              Fresh!

Brigid               Sort of…

Brigid starts to get changed.

Brigid              Feel like she’s been here forever. Time works differently when you don’t sleep.

Alex                 How many hours of sleep do you get?

Brigid               Not enough.

Casey              Did you have to wear all those ugly as fuck maternity clothes?

Brigid               They’re so good! I became poncho lady and I stopped wearing underwear.

Casey              Who does?

Bee                  Really? You don’t wear underwear?

Casey smirks and then shrugs at Bee.

Alex                 How are you going anyway? Since…

Bee gestures the end of the sentence.

Brigid               Since I pushed a human head through my vajay-jay?

Alex                 Yeah.

Brigid               Good. I mean it completely destroys your pelvic floor. Being split open from the inside.

Casey              Brutal.

Brigid               Yes, it is.

Bee                  Childbirth is still the single most dangerous thing a woman can do to her body.

Casey              Other than marrying a man.

Rosie               She’s not wrong.

Casey              My friend had a baby and a physio clawed around her vagina like a horny teradactyl.

Casey does hand gesture to indicate this.

Bee                (confirming what it is) A perineal massage.

Brigid              I honestly recommend you all go see a pelvic physio - changed my life.

Bee                  It’s to help reduce tearing.

Casey              So you just get pulled apart like sourdough bread?

They groan at the image.

Brigid               It was surprisingly quick to heal. I did have a bunch of frozen condoms in the freezer, which was a first for me. And my boobs have gone form B to D. Which my lower back hates, but Harry loves.

Bee                  Not just Harry, your Instagram following has gone up.

Brigid               Happy by-product.

Casey              I didn’t realise you had a following?

Brigid               Hardly. 

Alex                 Does it hurt as much as they say?

Brigid               Let’s just say there’s a reason your body gaslights you into having amnesia.

Bee                  Did you have the epidural?

Brigid               I’m not a psycho!

Alex                 How does it feel playing?

Brigid               I feel stronger.

Rosie               Really?

Brigid               Rude.

Rosie               I just meant-

Brigid               It’s like driving a new car. I know how to actually use it.

Bee                  Your voice has become louder.

Brigid gives her the finger.

Bee                  It’s not a bad thing I’m just saying something I noticed.

Casey              So you don’t regret it?

Rosie               Casey!

Casey              What?

Rosie               Not sure that’s appropriate to ask.

Brigid               Nup. I always knew I wanted kids. I knew the day I held her in my arms I knew it was what I was missing.

Casey              I’m just going to get my uterus taken out.

Brigid               Don’t say that!

Casey              Why not?

Brigid               Because it’s where you get your power from.

Casey              Not me.

Bee                  Don’t worry. She’s always been like this. Woo woo.

Brigid               I’m not woo woo.

Bee                  Sounds woo woo when you say woo woo.

Casey              What about people who don’t have uteruses?

Brigid               Well, they obviously don’t get their power from there, maybe they get it from their butt hole or their shoulder girdle, I don’t know. I’m just saying,

You don’t need to erase yourself; embrace yourself.

Rosie               Is that Taylor Swift?

Casey              I’m still gunna get rid of mine.

Brigid               That’s up to you.

Alex                 Do you miss her, when you’re here?

Small pause while Brigid thinks. The question catches her off guard.

Brigid               Er, of course.

I’m not a completely horrible mother.

Have you guys thought about it?

Rosie               Ah, not yet. Not really.

Rosie clocks Alex again.

Kyle                 (O.S) Is everyone decent? 

Kyle walks in.

Brigid               You usually wait for a reply before walking in.

Kyle                 (exasperated) How long does it take?

Rosie               We’re ready. 

Kyle                 Good.

I’ve reviewed the footage. Well done. Well done to Casey for an excellent debut.

They all clap.

We’ve found our feet. We’ve tapped into gear. Lo and behold on the weekend there was structure. There was play. It’s all well and good to start strong, it’s how you finish that matters.

Kyle scoffs at himself.

No pun intended.

It falls flat with the girls.

Kyle                 (clearing his throat) Point is: we’re only as strong as our weakest link. Get out there and start the circuit! S & C is waiting.

The sound of a whistle.