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What Men Really Think About … Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships


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There’s lots of different kinds of intimacy – emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, spiritual intimacy. And it can be shared in many different relationship constellations – with friends, family, community, a faith, with lovers, strangers, through art, and in our interactions with the greater world.

Romantic relationships are distinguished from our other relationships by sexual intimacy. And yet this crucial ingredient can be particularly difficult to maintain, let alone grow. In this confronting forum, three special male guests explore why they can lose the spark that unites them with their beloved. Why at times they have stopped revealing their deepest truths to their one-time most trusted confidant. Why they have experienced resenting or rejecting the aspects of their partner that they first fell in love with. Why sometimes a third party has entered their sacred union. And how they have learnt to cultivate the sexual and emotional intimacy that help long term relationships thrive.

‘What Men Really Think About… Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships’ is part of an emotionally confronting yet humorous series looking at men in a society famous for male repression. Guests speak with stark honesty about issues most men usually never talk about – and especially not in public. Everything from love to the desire for status to purpose to parenting to porn to mental health to body image to death, and more. This kind of raw honesty turns on its head the notion of the closed-book Aussie bloke by unashamedly revealing what men really think and feel. The series investigates the costs and consequences of living by a silent code of self-censorship, why men don’t communicate their feelings, and what happens to them (and everyone around them) when they do.

To watch previous forums in the series, to read the stories of the panelists and to contribute your own story, visit


Alan Close

Alan Close’s most recent book is Before You Met Me: A Memoir Of One Man’s Troubled Search For Love, a candid examination of his difficult relationship history. Alan also edited the anthology Men Love Sex, a collection of stories by men about love, sex and relationships. He has written widely on ... Read more

Lee Trew

Lee Trew is a qualified psychotherapist who teaches wilderness survival skills for therapeutic purposes and acts as a bushcraft consultant for film productions. After training as a psychotherapist, Lee studied indigenous survival skills and spent a year in the bush, finding shelter, water and food i... Read more

Kim Farrant

Kim Farrant writes and directs drama, documentaries and commercials for film and TV. Kim’s work has screened and sold all over the world. Her credits include the TV drama series Rush, as well as the documentaries Naked on the Inside, The Secret Side of Me and Out of the Saddle. She is renowned for... Read more

Gilbert Rochecouste

Gilbert Rochecouste is recognized both nationally and internationally as a leading voice in sustainable communities and businesses. Gilbert is known for his innovative thinking, dynamic engagement processes and inspirational approach to community activation. His catalyst ideas have regenerated iconi... Read more


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The Wheeler Centre acknowledges the Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation as the Traditional Owners of the land on which the Centre stands. We acknowledge and pay our respects to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and their Elders, past and present, as the custodians of the world’s oldest continuous living culture.